Goodbye Mr Fry sketch

INT: 1950s Classroom, Black and white film

An elderly teacher walks in. We see two pupils, PERCIVAL and GATSBY

PERCIVAL: Hello Mr Fry!
GATSBY: Hello Mr Fry!

Mr Fry looks sad

MR FRY: Oh Hello boys
GATSBY: Are you ok sir?
MR FRY: Oh, oh yes my dear dear boy. It is marvellous to see you all.

GATSBY (TO PERCIVAL): I say, Mr Fry doesn't jolly well look happy at all. What could the matter be?
PERCIVAL (TO GATSBY): Oh, it's probably that he misses his wife, Gatsby. I've heard the other teachers mention it.
GATSBY: Sir! Are you sad about your wife?
MR FRY: Oh, no no boys, you don't want to hear any rot about that. Bally silly if you ask me.
GATSBY: But sir, anything we can do to help
PERCIVAL: Yes, sir
MR FRY: Oh, alright. My dear wife was the most amazing person. Could suck a golf ball through a hosepipe. We met through an advert she placed on one of those anonymous online dating sites. 'BBW MILF seeks MMF action'
(Smiles and looks into distance)
I'll always remember that. She was looking to get DP'd and film it to fund her crack and heroin habit.
We were married at once and for weeks and months we were happy, cruising the Basingstoke swingers scene. Oh boys, my boys, you're too young to know yet that life can start so hopefully, and so full of joy but before you know it you're in a darkened room with a gimp suit, a strap on and a pregnant dwarf. You can still Google it I think

GATSBY: Oh, sir. I'm so sorry.

MR FRY: Oh, my boy, my dear boy. Don't worry. She left me for the dwarf and they live in Norwich. They had a son. He went up to Cambridge, you know. Fine fellow. And I...I have my boys, my wonderful boys and my alcoholism and my pornography. I shall be just splendid.
And enough of this rot, turn your textbooks to page 77, quicksmart.