Dirty movie

Ext: A windswept, raining, grotty looking city street
The camera spots and follows a man dressed in a dark raincoat and baseball cap as he moves furtively up the street. He reaches an entrance to an old style movie theatre and goes inside

Int: A darkened cinema room
Our figure enters and the light momentarily shows a screen of similarly perverted-looking men simulating naughty acts alone and in pairs and groups
Our figure wanders down the aisle, find a seat and slips down low into it.
The camera pans towards the screen to display the title of the movie 'The Jimmy Savile Story'

The crowd: (in a perverted way) Yeahhhhh

The Screen: 'A BBC Production'

The Crowd: Oh for f**ks sake

Camera pans away

Savile: Uh UH UH etc Howsaabout that then boys and girls?

END

Job Interview

Int Office
RICHARD is interviewing WALTER. They are both american.

RICHARD: So, why do you want this job?

WALTER: I, err, want to explore strange new worlds

RICHARD: Yes

WALTER: Seek out new life and new civilisations

RICHARD: Yes, can I stop you there. That's from Star Trek.

WALTER: I'm sorry, I know. I have pop cultural tourettes syndrome.

(Checks watch)

Uh oh. Fifteen minutes to Judge Wapner.

RICHARD: I see...there seems to be a large gap in your resume. Would you care to explain that.

WALTER: Theorizing that one could time travel in his own lifetime Dr Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum accelerator and..

(Whispers)

..vanished.

RICHARD: (Looking suspicious) I see

(beat)

WALTER: Oh Boy

RICHARD: Let's move on. Do you have a clean driver's licence?

WALTER: (Rocking slightly) I'm an excellent driver. I'm an excellent driver.

RICHARD: (Gives a deep sigh) Can you tell me anything about your ambitions?

WALTER: As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.

RICHARD: Right!! Well, I think that's everything I need to know. Your name will be added to the shortlist.

WALTER: The list is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf.

RICHARD: Uh huh. (beat) well, we'll see you at the next round of interviews but between you and me I think you got it man. I look forward to working with you here on the script team of Family Guy.

Be Pretty

Be pretty,
Be good to the cat when i die.
You may not know that i used to lie
In that place in the sun he loved so much,
When the house was silent and free of mockery.
I used to lie there and plot and scheme our lives together
Until one of us should fall.
It must be me or reading this will mean nothing.
It must be me but know that
When you lie in that place in the sun,
I will be the sun's fingers soothing you
With our lost love.

[Old poem I wrote years ago and just remembered, thought i'd write it down]