Morse: The Early Years

Voice-over: And now on ITV3, back to the concluding part of Morse: The early years

Int Police Station Cell-block. Decor and cut of uniforms gives off a late 70s feel. MORSE is in a Seargents Uniform, LEWIS is in a PC's uniform

LEWIS: (in Newcastle accent) So, Seargent Morse, divent ye nar n allreet n all that pet, like. So, Lady Caroline is dead. Sir Charles is in a coma. Baronness Aldershot has an alibi and even Sir Nigel, the self-made millionaire industrialist with a chip on his shoulder, is in the clear. I just don't understand it, like. It looks like someone is going to get away with murder. Ya canna believe it man. This is the seventies, like!

MORSE: The seventies? (Beat) My God, Lewis, I've been so stupid!

Cut to: A police Mini Metro gunning down the street. A squeal of tires and it skids to a halt.

Cut to: Int Police Interview room. A wide eyed, scared looking black man with bruises on his face is in the background as MORSE and INSPECTOR are talking as they leave the room and enter the corridor, Camera follows them.

INSPECTOR: So Morse, you're telling me this Jamaican man who, judging by the ticket stubs in his pocket, was in London at the time of the murder, is in fact the murderer.

MORSE: He confessed sir!

INSPECTOR: Oh right, let's all go and get pissed then.

INSPECTOR walks back in to interview room.

INSPECTOR: (from off screen)I say, MORSE, this man has broken fingers and he appears to have(beat) shat himself.

MORSE: (looking sheepish) Yes, sir.

INSPECTOR walks back into corridor

INSPECTOR: I say, bloody good policing. You'll go far MORSE, you'll go far. Just, one thing puzzles me. Why a jamaican?

LEWIS: Cos we couldn't find an Irishman.

ALL three laugh heartily.

Sketch idea and other stuff

So, I've been mulling over a sketch i want to put together taking the mickey out of Inspector Morse (yes, finger on the pulse, current, cutting edge..)

Quite simply it involves a caricature of Lewis reviewing the case for Morse.

ie, Wai eye man, divvent ya knar Morse man, spuggy man (etc) Lady St John-Barrington-Smythe had motive because she wanted the old man's money but her alibi is watertight. Lord Fontelroy-Shalalabingbong was jealous of the old man's success with women but we know he was on other side of Oxford carrying on the Professor (etc)

At which point Morse declares the famous words..."My God Lewis, I've been so stupid!"

We cut to the famous red antique jaguar gunning down the narrow streets of Oxford. It squeals to a halt. We then cut to a shot of the backseat. On it is a very bewildered, roughed up, black man. (ie they're fitting him up). The sketch ends as we hear morse ask Lewis to pull over so he can buy a bag of oranges, or a bar of soap and a pair of socks, or a pair of pliers and a disposable lighter.

Obviously funnier in my head. But what do you know.

From there i was thinking about another John Thaw production which was the adaptation of Michelle Magorian's book, Goodnight Mister Tom. I always get mixed up when saying that title and call it 'Goodbye Uncle Tom' which led me to think of another sketch, a wartime evacuee is taken in by an apologetic subservient black guy in a quaint 1930's gloucestershire village. Not funny when i think about it but seemed nicely absurd at the time. Anyway, this led me to research Uncle Tom's Cabin a little. I've never read it but obviously I know its place in the lead up to the American Civil war and abolition of slavery. I found it interesting and a little sad that the book led to the expression 'Uncle Tom' to describe a black person who kowtows to white people too much. The truth is that stereotype came about more from dramatic interpretations of the book. In the book itself Tom comes across as to me as an extremely strong and principled character, but someone with a great faith in God; someone who forgives his tormentors. As said, I need to read the book and decide for myself but that's my impression.

Dunno, out.