Class

INT: A Room
Three men of equal height stand facing the camera

LEFTIE: I'm middle class. I look down on him but up..

MIDDLE-IE: No, no, sorry. I'm middle class. You're upper class.

LEFTIE: I am not. I'm middleclass.

RIGHTIE: and me!

MIDDLE-IE: (To LEFTIE) You are not! You live in South Ken, you've a country pile out in Sussex somewhere, you play polo for f**k's sake!

LEFTIE: Ah! But I watch X-Factor....and the footie. Chelsea! Chelsea! Chelsea! Anton Ferdinand, I ask you.

MIDDLE-IE: What the f**k are you on about? And you! (Turning to RIGHTIE) You were on Jeremy Kyle, you're on jobseekers, the CSA are after you for payments

RIGHTIE: Yeah but I've got a conservatory, a cardigan and I love those little triangular sandwiches, innit?

MIDDLE-IE: I...What?! What's that got to do with anything?! I can't work like this!

(MIDDLE-IE storms off)

RIGHTIE: Fancy a pint geez?

LEFTIE: Spiffing